It had been over a week since I stepped foot into my favorite yoga studio in Austin; I injured myself during motorcycle training.
So I was left bruised and limping for about a week. On top of that my TSW was starting to release it's last full fledged flare which I thought was cute. Why not happen all at once right, universe? Rest. That was the last thing I wanted to hear when I was fresh out the gates of my third teacher training but I really had no choice.
Despite the slow moving week that went by with no yoga or social activities, my time was up and I was headed to Sukha to meet my favorite babe Jessica for a Level 2/3 class taught by our favorite moon flower yoga teacher studio owner Erinn Lewis. I rode my new scooter (hence the motorcycle license) and arrived half an hour early. I set up my mat, got props, set my journal next to my mat where I wanted Jess to set up and hung out. I was patient for about 10minutes then I wanted Jess to be there already so we could catch up. I went to the prop room to text her and ask and read my last text sent at 5:03 saying "I'm taking a shot of coffee and I'm about to get in my flow." and decided maybe she was sitting in traffic and I shouldn't pester her. I had obviously not had caffeine in a while and was excited to practice next to my sol sister; we always sat next to each other in teacher training and became certified mat buddies...it's a thing. "Aaaalright, fine" I said to myself reluctantly, "I'll wait patiently and go back in the studio and sit down" two seconds later my phone slipped out of my hands and lands right on my second biggest toe (I don't know what the name is for that toe...).
Long story short because I want to get to the point of this lesson, my toe is cut really badly. It's bleeding a lot and the band aids that Erinn offered keep slipping off due to all the blood. I finally get two circular band aids to stay on my poor throbbing toe and Jess has arrived and class is about to start. Literally three minutes into class and there is drops of blood all over my mat and the band aid is half way off flowing in the sky of my tripod dog. Class was a wreck for me. I had to run to the bathroom, devise a paper towel bandage and carefully maneuver my foot around the rest of the 75 minute class.
The theme off class was keeping a calm center despite "phenomena" going on in your life. My struggle was on point. I had a bloody throbbing two making a mess all over my mat. Class wasn't going as I had planned and once again I caught myself wanting to literally rush through the present moment to get to a certain place; the end of class where I could nurse my toe.
Why do we and mostly I so often forget that it's about the journey not the destination? That patience really is a virtue? That the journey is where all the meat is, the learning, the healing, the letting go, the experience; whatever that is for you at that moment. That in the end, we are all leaving this place the same way. So what is the big rush Lisa?
Patience has been a challenge for me since I can remember. But it's my new affirmation of the month. "I am patient." Being patient means waiting calmly in the face of frustration or anxiety, adversity or even confusion. Which everyone deals with on a daily basis every day, right? In some small way or form. So essentially I get a chance every day to work with this.
I am impatient with myself and my goals, my relationships with friends and lovers, my roommates and even my dogs when they go to the bathroom! This practice of yoga and mindfulness had truly made it impossible for me to hide from my shit. I am still gracious for it though and now I am going to drop expectations of what every end product in my life should immediately look like and I am going to take a deep unhurried breath in and let it go so that I may enjoy this wild and crazy journey we call life.