I have been off balanced lately. I haven't introduced enough Sukha into my life lately. Sweetness.
Only effort and pushing myself. Going going going, FLARE. I have done almost everything in my power to heal except rest. Taken all right herbs and vitamins, drinking enough water, not drinking anymore alcohol, all of it. Except just chillin'. Shit.
I deemed today my official day off in over a month and it feels super good. Slept most of my day so far and I will be honest and say I TRIED to go study somewhere and then attend teacher training but the skin persisted I stay. My cheeks and neck are tight and dry and swollen. My arms are tender and raw thanks to my insomnia other half who tears away at any healing my body achieves. My mind and spirit are exhausted but grateful for the rest. I need more of this.
Monday at work I had an anxiety attack that really scared me. It also scared the pride right out of me. Like an untamed parakeet desperately trying to get out while hitting all the windows and finally finding that exit. Who am I trying to impress now? Pride will NOT help me in this journey. The ego has a time and a place and I'm not ready for it yet. Right now I need my soul to heal so my skin follow.
I scheduled my first appointment for therapy next week. Reaching out for help has already made me feel stronger.