Right now I can barely keep my hands off my skin to write this blog entry. My face feels swollen and tight and am trapped inside this flakey body.
My arms are horrible and despite the 104 degree weather outside, I walk out of my house everyday with a long sleeve shirt on.
To look up cracks my skin open. To take a big bite, to smile, to turn around, all of it feels uncomfortable.
I have been trying to make plans to make it to more yoga classes, but I just cant. Everything is so fucking hard and this flare is draining me. I feel wiped out in my body and the more stuff I try to fill my plate with; yoga classes, running, cleaning the house even doing my laundry is a task that I want to ask help with.
It's spread to my nipples, my underarms, my scalp, and even a spot on my fucking hands.
I am finding it very hard right now to be angry and frustrated. For about a decade, I was using steroids, getting shots and not one doctor told me the risks.
There are flakes everywhere, I want to clean all the time but instead I just end up resting in my bed. I want to go outside and tan and run and take yoga classes any chance I get, but again I just usually end up resting in my bed.
I am tired. I am losing hope after two years when I think about how much longer I have to possibly endure this? I also am sorry if anyone following my blog who was looking for hope and inspiration didn't find it today. I am overwhelmed with my responsibilities currently and I want help or a break.