I am patient.

The water fast was a bust. I love food and wasn't ready to embark on that scarce journey. It needs to be planned better and possibly not during a time where I am super busy.

Regardless, not eating for about 18 hours and drinking a lot of water did clear up some of my skin.

I can now smile without pain or tearing of the skin on my cheeks. The area on my neck is still sensitive but it's not growing in size anymore which is a huge relief. I think I am going to try to plan for a monthly water fast every full moon. I will prepare by beginning and ending with a liquid fast before and after; juices, soups, broths and smoothies. It gives your digestive system a nice break and restarts the body. Or at least that's how I felt.

New affirmation of the moment. "I am patient." Life is about this journey right? We aren't trying to hurry up and die right away. So if this is our journey (tsw) then let's take what we can from it. Let's experience every bit of it, don't check out. Don't medicate to numb out completely. Hardships make us stronger and I thought I beat this once and came out lighter and brighter but apparently the universe had bigger plans. Now I am single and busy creating my career and community and I can not check out. It's harder this time, I'm in it for the long haul and everyone sees me this time. I refuse to hide out and fog my head to forget about how much it sucks. It does suck and it's painful and embarrassing and annoying to constantly explain over and over again. But I am growing modest about external attributes about myself and even others and I am spreading the word of the dangers of steroids. Let's not continue to suppress the issue like the doctors have done for years to us, let's feel it to heal it.