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Hi! 

Welcome to my blog about how I find peace and health in a crazy world. 

Don't turn the treadmill off.

As of the past couple weeks, I feel like my skin isn't improving BUT isn't getting worse either.

I am on a treadmill of healing right now. Still eating healthy, doing my meditation, drinking my herbal teas, trying to get some sunshine and TRYING not to scratch my skin. Before when my skin wasn't SO bad, I would get into these stagnant stages where there was no improvement and that's when I would begin to cheat on my food habits or stop drinking teas and then BOOM! Another flare. So whether or not it's related I don't want to sit there wondering, "Fuck, if I didn't eat all those fried eggrolls and orange chicken, would my skin look better?"
My answer is probably. Maybe not a whole lot better, but it's crazy to think our diet doesn't affect our skin in some way or form.

Here is some updates on pictures

 1.18-1.19 It hurt to look around because my eyes were so sensitive and swollen.

1.18-1.19 It hurt to look around because my eyes were so sensitive and swollen.

That was my flare in Santa Fe. The top left was day one (WOAH!) and top right was later on in the day (12 glasses of water later...) and bottom left was the next day (I had to fly home that day, longest day ever.) and bottom right was that night I got home and was sitting in the bath.

I would say I got over the swollen red part of the flare pretty fast thanks to drinking lots of water, resting and not stressing myself out by going into public, drinking juice and eating soup. I didn't eat anything that would take too  much to digest. I had three juices that day at the airport because I was dropped off 4 hours early and there is this really healthy juice bar in the Albuquerque airport and when I came home I had lentil soup and lots of chamomile tea.

I am going to wait to post some pictures until my 7 month anniversary; there will much more improvement by then.

Lately, I have been getting extremely disappointed in myself for the lack of discipline in my scratching habit I can't kick. So starting tomorrow, (because I already scratched today) I am going to do a 3 day challenge on not scratching my skin AT ALL. It's going to be really hard and I might look super flakey but scratching does also exfoliate but I don't care. I already look crazy.
Instead of scratching, every time I want to pick at my skin I am going to just place my hand or fingers on that spot and tell myself, "My skin is healing, that's why it itches."

One thing I will note is that it is really hard not to scratch in the morning when I wake up. Like really hard. So if I can just get past the morning and not spend my first ten minutes exfoliation, then I can definitely get through the whole day.

I'll be back with an update on this new endeavor.



 

Insomnia is the cherry on top.

Whore baths. No shame in my game