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Hi! 

Welcome to my blog about how I find peace and health in a crazy world. 

Stagnant.

Notice the white face. There is a line around my face like I'm wearing white foundation. My entire face is dry and healing. 

 I have the "classic red sleeve".

I have the "classic red sleeve".

 This is right after a bath. 

This is right after a bath. 

Just took a DDS bath and it was extremely uncomfortable. I'm not sure if it was because the water was too hot but baths aren't a refuge like they used to be. 

Gio has a show tonight and my parents are driving all the way from Smithville and they are actually coming. I tried to talk myself out of going because it's so stressful going out into public but I know if I sit at home alone I will do nothing but scratch my skin. I don't want to let this healing process completely control my life. Plus I feel as if this skin issue is creating space between Gio and I and he doesn't have the patience for it anymore. I feel as if he is subconsciously upset with me for going through this and is habitually upset with me most of the time lately. I don't know, maybe it's just me. I'm no tea party to be around right now.

I am trying to do a lot more to heal my body lately, drinking way more water, eating cucumbers to cool my skin, eating less grain and wrapping my arm when I go to bed. TSW plays a huge role in 95% of the things I do but tonight I'm going to try and forget about it. I want to have fun. 

My arms are stinging in weird places and itching in the raw red places. My neck is currently drying now and preventing any further movement. I'm so torn about whether or not to use moisturizer. I hear from a lot of people it speeds up healing and strengthens your skin but I am in so much pain when I don't use just a little where the skin is always cracking.

I'm clueless on what to wear tonight. Something long sleeve to hide my arms and nothing low cut so that it covers my decollate thats red and splotchy. I have to somehow wear my hair down to cover my cheeks as much as I can, (even though it's SO uncomfortable to wear my hair down, my neck begins to radiate heat when I do).

As much as I want to go out tonight, it's unbelievably stressful. I am going to be so grateful when I can go out and not worry about my skin.

 

Sometimes I worry though how long it will take for me to heal....

FOUR MONTHS.

Dreary day.