In the past few weeks I have noticed the most improvement I have seen since this journey has begun. I'm not saying things are completely healed or that I even look normal yet. But I feel more normal. I am sleeping better and I have enough energy to attend Bikram yoga or Sweaty yoga at Black Swan every day. That's right I'm going to yoga every. damn. day. And it feels damn good.
At first I thought the heat and sweating would irritate it, and after my first sweaty class it definitely did. My shower stung my skin and it itches insanely afterwards. But I still felt like it helped and the very next day I went to BIKRAM. 105 degrees for 90 minutes. Very disciplined and very hot and very bright. The lights are extremely bright and I wore a tank top, after that class I left part of my Ego on that carpet (yes, it's carpet in there). I had to let go of hiding my skin and just come into my body and breath. It felt amazing and I am so grateful for my best friend Jennifer for purchasing my free month of Bikram. It's super expensive and I don't know how I will continue to afford it in the future but I will find a way. Even if it's just one class every couple weeks.
I also ordered Dr.Fukaya's skin repair lotion that is just simple hyaluronic acid and I put it on twice a day after a facial steam in the morning or after my shower. It absorbs pretty quickly and it never stings or itches. He's a doctor in Japan who has studied steroid rebound quite intensively and has a blog and developed this cream to help repair thin skin from steroid use. I have noticed a difference in the strength of my skin when I do scratch and my cheek rash is slowly shrinking. (Slowly as in 5% a week. Which is faster than before; 5% a month)
I haven't even taken a bath in 6 days. I think I am going to try and take a Dead Sea Salt bath once a week now. It does help repair little cuts and scratches and calms my nervous system to take a bath. But honestly, the yoga is truly healing me from the inside out. I feel stronger mentally and that's showing in my physical health for sure.
I started to lose myself in this skin issue. I forgot what made me feel bliss. I feel bliss standing in a hot studio with other yogi's sweating out everything while I balance in dancer's pose all the while keeping a calm, steady breath. It teaches me to remain calm in stressful situations. It reminds me to breathe. And it makes me grateful for my body, skin rash or not. I feel like a goddess when I practice Hatha yoga.
Also, training in Santa Fe went amazing. I was reminded the power of good friends. It makes you feel a lot better to know you have someone to talk to about anything and they won't judge you. I also went deeper into my meditations and chants than I ever had. My aunt and cousin weren't there and it almost eliminated a distraction. It was just me. Nonetheless I am looking forward to December and seeing them again because I did miss them.
All the while I am writing this, my skin is still red, pretty dry and the flakes are very slowly disappearing with each yoga class. And yet I am still in a great mood. I have accepted this present moment as if I have chosen it myself.
Love & Light!