Even though I don't notice a significant improvement today I am so happy I made it this far. It's crazy it's been four months of my life, it feels like it just started but at the same time it feels as if I have been battling this forever.
I have slight swelling in my neck and face this morning, it's raw from scratching and sleeping on it the night before and my arms (I don't want to take pictures of because parts of them are wrapped) are sore and dry. So despite all those painful annoying symptoms, I am still happy I made it this far.
This journey is teaching me to see the silver lining. Don't get me wrong, it's still the hardest thing to deal with every day. I still feel depressed occasionally and have very little drive to do things I love. It literally sucks the life right out you; via ooze. Lol. Just kidding.
I go to Santa Fe this weekend and Gurumittar won't be there. Kirn and her are headed to Mexico to celebrate her becoming a Chinese Medicine Doctor. It will be different without her at the house, or Kirn too. I wonder if I will feel lonely. Perhaps it will just give me more time to finish homework, meditate and focus on healing.
I need to attend more classes here in Texas in between training weekends but my skin gets so bad I don't leave the house once I get home from work. I am doing complete moisturizer withdrawal again on my skin, it's not as painful as the last time I tried it. It just seems easier to complete withdrawal from any emollients on my skin and let it do it's thing for a little bit. I wrap my arms at night and sometimes during the day if they are bad (which they have been lately) and that's preventing a lot of scratching. The only thing that's crazy is that the moment I take off the wraps, I scratch uncontrollably. It's like I can't stop myself until I see damage. This skin journey has a lot to do with my mind. Strengthening it and controlling it.
Another difference in my "tsw regime" is that I started taking my vitamins twice a day instead of just in the morning. Since I am taking double of everything, I decided it might be more beneficial to take one dose in the morning and one in the afternoon.
I have been inspired by my best friend Haley to cut down on sugars. She is candy queen and hasn't eaten any in a week! So here I am, day two of no sugars. I have read on ITSAN FB forums that no sugar or decreased sugars has helped people heal.
It's painful to type because my wrists are raw and swollen. I'll blog more later.