That was something Kirn said during my first weekend of training. It really hit home for me, because here I am spending all my time discussing in detail all the agony I am going through and it's almost as if it's literally intensifying the pain I'm in. I could go on for hours how much this skin problem SUCKS, but why? If you're reading this, I'm sure you get the picture by now. I am going to start bringing to light the strength and stamina I have instead. Sure there may be some more days I just need to vent about how horrible I feel, but for the most part lately things have really been improving.
I am sleeping at least four solid hours every night which is better than none. My skin isn't oozing as much. My skin is so much more resilient and doesn't itch until night time. The only thing that has gotten worse is my face, it's swollen every morning and pink rashy spots all over it. I think my face and neck will be the very last to heal.
Now, with all that said. Something was brought to my attention this weekend that truly upset me. Guruchunder told me that dogs can take on their owners karma for them, hence Haarlem getting an auto-immune disease and now being prescribed steroids. As much as I actually believe this very possible, I don't want poor Haarlem to take on my karma!! So, now I have a new reason to heal and heal faster. Haarlem. I need to stop moping around at home and being so lazy just because "I'm sick". I need to eat extremely healthy and drink a lot of water. I need to walk Haarlem around at work and try to play with him more to get both of blood flowing. I need to do my meditation and kriyas everyday and most of all I need to keep a POSITIVE ATTITUDE :)
So, yes I am in pain with my skin and loss of sleep but I am no longer suffering. My ego is no longer in charge anymore. I am coming from a place of love and acceptance. I love myself (and Haarlem very much) and accept what's going on right now in my life.